Employment

So life has moved on a fair bit in the last month. I am soon to start a 9-5 job that should pay the bills and I have made sure it has nothing to do with design.

I think this may be a temporary move but right now there is nothing more I want than a little bit of stability in my life.

The one thing that has made me upset with my decision is how no-one seems to have any respect for it. I cannot live my life working between 18 and 40 hours on minimum wage in a job that is slowly destroying my social life and my chance of ever being who I want to be. I cannot be an artist or a textile designer because no-one wants to employ me.

Yes, I have a degree but in all honestly it is a piece of paper that says that I don't excel in design. As much as it pains me to say; I got a 2:2 in my degree and I am really ashamed of it. I worked really hard and it obviously wasn't enough. My work was good enough to go to new designers and good enough to be displayed on the university website but it was worth a D-.

When I ask myself what went wrong I can simply say that that wasn't the course for me and in three years I have learnt more about myself than I have about textile design. I could make a hundred excuses but they are not going to change that piece of paper on which 'could of tried harder' was an appropriate summary.

I am going to keep posting here because it is what I need to do. I have started sewing again and whilst it may just be silly things like cushion covers and fancy dress costumes I will be keeping my hand in.